Sunday, February 22, 2015

Wer hat Wasser?


Who ordered the water?

As the keen Swiss-o-phile knows, this country is well renowned for its tourism, hotels and hospitality. Young men and women come from all over the world and join their Swiss compatriots in learning about the hospitality trade in schools in Chur, Luzern, Lausanne and possibly other places.

What may be less known is that Swiss dining is equally high quality and it's pretty hard to find bad food in this country. Whether it's a Döner from a shop or a sit down meal, food is always wholesome and tasty.

Service on the other hand - ah well, let's just say that it depends. It varies. It can be unpredictable. Like most of Europe, service charges or tips are included in the price, and arguably this gives little incentive to the service staff to go above and beyond a minimum standard to please the customer. There is the practice of "trinkgeld" where the customer leaves some coins on the table but I think this is mostly a reflex rather then a decision based on the service received.

Honestly, I have nothing against this custom. What upsets me is the way the whole drama unfolds in most restaurant (top end fine dining excepted) when you place your order. I have become accustomed to it, even though it annoys me. But this past week I was upset enough to take fingers to keyboard.

This is how it usually goes, translating from Schwiizer Tüütsch. It's a true lunchtime incident in a reasonably high end Chinese restaurant in downtown Zurich, but is representative. We are a party of 8. Business lunch.

"Greetings, all together!" (goes the waiter/waitress)
"Greetings!"
Menus are handed over.
"What can I get you to drink?"
"Give us a minute please"
Exit waitress, and back in a few (or many) minutes.
"So, what would you like to drink?"
"We are ready to order our food"
"Ja, but what would you like to drink first?"

So we order drinks. Then we start to order the food only to find that the waitress has disappeared.
She re-emerges 10 minutes later with the drinks.
"Who ordered the ice tea?"
Three of us raise hands.
"Who ordered the water with carbon dioxide?"
Three more.
The last two get the "water without"
"So what would you like to eat?"
We order our meals. There is a mix of Menu 1, Menu 2, Menu 3 and some a la carte dishes. She goes around the table one by one and writes down the orders.

15 or so minutes later, she and a waiter are back with the food.
"Who has Menu 1?"
One hand raised.
"Who has dimsums?"

Do I need to go on?

She did write the orders for our large group in a logical way - going clockwise around the table. Why then could she not follow the same simple logic in delivering the orders? Some of us were chatting and did not see the order come in or hear her - these people had to be poked in the ribs or otherwise disturbed to concentrate on the task at hand. Which was? Raising your hand like a student in a classroom to repeat what it was that you ordered. We all have to hear one more time - loudly - what the others have ordered.

This is nuts, and not unique to a large group. The same thing would happen if there were just two of us. I have not tested it when dining alone, simply because I never dine alone in a restaurant.

This is the way they must be trained at these elite institutes in Switzerland. It's the same in all restaurants. Why oh why can they not lose this annoying custom? I suppose that, in following Swiss custom, change is not welcome.

P.S. : By now, the keen reader must also have discerned that water is not automatic at a Swiss restaurant