Say again?

We have all seen pictures of signs from China with bad English, but I like the sign on the right for more than just this. I did not quite realise why until later.

Avid (as well as alert) followers of mine on Facebook may have noticed some mind numbingly pointless posts from me when I landed in Shanghai airport on Sunday 16th May. As the driver (finally) whisked me away from the waiting area, I stole a quick look at my news feed on FB. Nothing dramatic.

Upon getting to the wonderful Shangri-la hotel in Pudong, I was happy to find that they have free WIFI (even though I have to agree to their terms each time I power any device on and off). It is a small amount of money relative to the price of the room, and I still don't understand why all of these premium hotels insist on charging for WIFI. The ones who charge individually for each device deserve to have all their guests desert them immediately.

But I stray ...

Having connected to the internet and read my email, I go on to FB. Nothing happens. Try again. Nothing. Twitter? Same result. WTF is going on? I

struggle for a few moments trying before ADD kicks in and I stare at the wonderful view out of my window. Shanghai has wonderful buildings -- the view alongside is of the Jinmao Tower and the World Financial Center. These are the two tallest buildings in China and they are across the street from each other! From my POV, Jinmao looks the taller of the two, but that is not correct. Wikipedia tells me that the WFC is 492 m tall to Jinmao's 421 m. (Not to rest with this achievement, the Shanghi Tower at 632 m is being built at the same crossroads!)

Later that evening, my colleagues tell me over dinner that FB, Twitter, Youtube, Yahoo Taiwan and maybe some other sites are blocked here. Now I know why I was unable to get in earlier that day. Ah well, a few days without social networking was not gonna be a big deal.

Couple days later we drove out to Nantong which lies about 2 hours west of Shanghai by road. I nap a bit, and at a pitstop see an email from my dearly beloved spouse telling me that "BG is in China and he just posted on FB!". Quelle horreur! Outdone in technology! I try to connect via my iPhone app and guess what? I am connected! Uh?

Hongtao is surprised when I tell her this, and then suddenly says "ah, so it must be just blocked in Shanghai". True, that's what seems to be the case. Living in Shanghai, she just did not realise that the ban was local and not national.

Suddenly, the sign at the rear entrance of our office building increases in significance. Whenever a door is "closde", another one opens. I had just found the other entrance.

The grass is greener

There is this old joke about 3 men adrift in a lifeboat with a can of baked beans between them but no can opener. The blue collar worker wants to smash the can with any hard object they can find on the boat. The engineer starts to devise complex algorithms relating to pressure and heat which would snap the top of the can. The economist says "Let's assume a can opener."

Every problem has a solution, but what do you do when you have no clue? The problem is real -- you can't assume a solution. Recently, I had a situation that needed urgent handling.

So we have a piece of grass - 3 pieces actually - around our house and have had a gardener taking care of it over the years. About the only thing I know is how to start the lawnmower and take out the waste. Even starting the lawnmower has been a chore at times - no petrol, too cold to start, choke has flooded the engine, a runaway accelerator and many other situations. When the girls were at school, they knew the occasional young man who would come by and mow the grass for a nominal wage (this was not easy by any means - apparently most kids in our neighbourhood do not feel the necessity to earn some pocket money. Believe me when I say this - we often had to beg!).

Winter is out and the garden needs work, so Roberto comes by and while mowing the grass our lawnmower of 10 seasons just gives up. It has been sick multiple times over the years and needed TLC which only Roberto could provide. But this time, it was time to bury it. Roberto explains the need to buy a new one and makes some recommendations that I listen to carefully. Given my ADD, and my knowledge of the Swiss German tongue, I had forgotten everything he said the next morning.

I assumed the internet -- et viola! Things started to happen. Do you know how much choice there is in lawnmowers and what are the factors that you need to consider? I knew that I had my work cut out for me.

• Size: Width of cutting blade, weight.
• Engine: Manual, Petrol, Electricity, Battery, Robot.
• Speed: Single or multi-speed
• Push or Ride
• Even one with an air cushion for zero friction movement (but you have to rake the cut grass later)

Uff. So I decided that

• Our garden was less than 500 m2
• I was too old to be pushing the machine
• I wanted the lightest weight in it's class
• Go for the best brand .. which turned out to be a Honda in this case!

I go to the biggest DIY and Garden store in our area and guess what? They have Hondas (which the sales guy called a Mercedes of lawn mowers). Perfect. But there was a catch. They only had the lowest (push for 500 m2 gardens) and highest end of the range (rear wheel drive for 1500 m2) and my request was for a rear wheel drive of the low end version. Next: they said that they "cannot order one" which is not in the shop. The customer service took a leap for the worst. Sometimes this country is just unbelievable!

Back to the internet, Honda Swiss website, hunt for dealers and a week later I am the proud owner of the lawnmower mentioned in my previous post.

Phew, spending money is tiring. Almost more tiring than actually cutting the grass and putting the waste out no later than Thursday morning to ensure it gets taken away. But the garden finally looks nice .. on the few days that I have a chance to enjoy it.